Seven Weeks

This past week with Allie was a mixed bag.  I feel like as soon as I'd make a declaration about Allie's personality, she'd change to the opposite.  I'd say, "She's usually fussy when she's awake", and the next minute she would prove me wrong and be a perfect angel for 4 straight hours!  A couple nights she was up almost every hour or two all night long and then the next night I had to wake her up to feed her because I was so engorged.  She was just really unpredictable.

We took a two hour nap together after one sleepless night.

Mornings are usually a fun time with Allie.  She's usually pretty alert and happy (hence why I'm blogging right now) and smiles a lot then.  I can usually get her to smile when she's in that kind of mood, which is cool.  She also has started making coo and other cute noises while smiling and interacting.  It pretty much melts my heart when she does that.

She has good stretches during the day when she seems pretty alert and awake.  She's awake during stroller rides a lot of the time now (she used to sleep through them) and seems to be looking around taking it all in.  She was even sort of awake during a short play date with my friend Sarah and her son the other day, which was funny.

Evenings are still Allie's fussiest time.  The pediatrician said this is normal because babies build up gas during the day and by evening they are pretty uncomfortable.  She also said that gas drops don't usually help, just holding them and getting through it is all you can usually do.  I would still hesitate to do dinner out with Allie because she's so fussy then.  Even the usual tricks of driving to put her to sleep in the car seat don't consistently work then.  We ran some errands last night (Home Depot and Petsmart) and she melted down pretty good so I ended up sitting in the car with her trying to calm her down while Greg ran in to get various items.  Not fun.

The last two nights we started trying to establish more of a nightly bedtime routine.  Around 7-7:30pm we gave her a bath (the first night, we didn't last night), put her in clean jammies, and then read her a Dr. Suess book in bed with the lights dimmed and waited for her eyes to get heavy.  I then put her in a Swaddle Me wrap and put her in the bassinet for bed.  It worked pretty well except she is a little Houdini and can get an arm or two out of that wrap if I don't velcro it perfectly.  Even though I swore she wouldn't tolerate the arms in the swaddle, I find that if I wait til she is falling asleep she'll let me put them in and it really does make a difference to get the arms swaddled in for longer stretches of uninterrupted sleep, so I think we'll be doing this from here on out.  Also, I took Dorsa and Jen's advice and started changing her before feeding her when we are up at night and I think that helps a lot in getting her back to sleep since she's usually so sleepy after eating.  I was worried she'd freak out while I changed her, waiting to be fed, but it doesn't seem to bother her as much as I thought it would.

I'm not sure when we're going to try to transition her to the crib.  We still put her in there for occasional naps, but we need to work on doing that more so we can get her used to it.  We have a trip to Hilton Head coming up and we may have her in a Pack N Play with no bassinet attachment, so if nothing else we probably should see if she'll sleep in the Pack N Play without the bassinet.  I guess that might be a good transition to the crib anyway since the mattress is more flat and crib-like.

She is doing really well with the play mat, still batting her toys, and it's one of my tried and true methods of calming her down if she's changed and fed and I know those aren't the reasons she's crying.  I think she's craving stimulation.  She likes being under the dangling toys while I jingle them and talk to her about what everything is.  It's cute.  We also do a lot of tummy time on the play mat.  I've tried to step up my effort to do tummy time more because I know it's good for her and her head!

In not-so-glamorous news, Allie has had a little bit of baby acne around her mouth.  Nothing major though, I don't think it's even noticeable to most people and I just try to keep it clean and that helps.  She also had some cradle cap, but I followed directions I found online and used some olive oil on her scalp before her bath, wet her head, then used a soft brush to brush the scales off, and shampooed her head and it's basically gone.  Apparently it's caused by oily scalp, so to keep it away you are supposed to shampoo the baby more often.

Allie is still spitting up a bunch.  I think it's my fault because of my milk supply and how it shoots down her throat at feedings.  I feel like it's getting a little better, but I still put a bib on her after feedings in case.  The other day I was putting her in her car seat to go somewhere and she totally spit up down the front of her outfit and I had to change it before we left.  Sometimes during the night I find that she has spit up on herself and have to change her outfit because it's wet from the spit up.  I don't put a bib on her at night though because I worry about SIDS.  Someone needs to invent a nighttime bib that is safe for babies to sleep in.  I would do it, but my husband told me some baby would die from it and then I get sued.  Good point.

We won't know til her two month appointment how big she officially is, but I did put a bunch of her newborn clothing away this week, realizing that it really doesn't fit well anymore- sniff sniff.  She's mostly in 0-3 or sometimes 3M clothing (although that stuff is a little big on her).

I am having fun dressing her in things other than sleepers, but if you are having a baby, I still swear sleepers are the way to go for the first month or so.  Even now, people aren't really seeing the outfits I have her in much since she's usually in the car seat when we are out, so my effort is wasted!  We didn't do anything for Easter (it's not a big holiday in my family and Greg was away), but I dressed her up in an outfit Alison sent me and got some pictures of her in it.

I had lunch with a friend that is seven months pregnant the other day and she was grilling me with a bunch of questions like, "What is the thing that most surprised you about having a baby?" and stuff like that.  I didn't really know how to respond.  I did have tons of tips on things you need, breastfeeding, and those sorts of things (I may do a post soon), but it's really hard to describe motherhood in broad terms.  I love it, but I don't know if it's what I thought it would be like, or if I even had any expectations of what I thought it would be like before I became a mom.  I haven't changed my mind about going back to work, but I'm still really glad I have six months off with Allie and am soaking up the minutes with her.  I am loving the experience of being a mom and watching my baby.

One last note- I went RUNNING twice this week!  I did 1.75 miles on the first run, and then 2 miles on the second.  The first run kind of sucked, but the second felt almost normal, and I was actually not that much slower than my usual leisurely pace (non-racing).

I'm excited to be back at it!  So far I'm only running outside when Greg is home, but eventually if Allie gets into some sort of reliable nap pattern, I may try running on our treadmill at home sometimes.  We will see.  I really need to get ab work on the agenda.  It's by far the area of my bod that needs the most work.  Baby steps...  :)

Charlotte Racefest and The Aftermath

This recap is really late, I know.  I spent most of yesterday getting organized, packing, and driving to Folly Beach, SC, where I'm currently sitting witnessing a lot of this...

That would be my cute niece :)

Anyway, to back up, Saturday morning I awoke at slightly after 5am to prep for my 10K.  The last 10K I ran was back in 2010- the Hilton Head Turkey Trot.  I knew going into this 10K that I basically had almost zero hope of a PR because that 10K was during marathon training, I was in much better shape, and I wasn't contending with any injuries.  Oh, and it was a flat out-and-back course.

Really, until Friday, I hadn't made up my mind about whether I'd even run the Racefest 10K, because of my ankle issues after my 5 miler last Sunday.  I'd spent the week feeling like my whole left leg felt off and the only run I'd done since the 5 miler was one mile on Wednesday night that also felt crappy.  I had also felt some hamstring tenderness all week, so I knew this race might be a bad idea.  I decided to give it a shot though.

Saturday morning, I got to South Park for the race and picked up my packet.  I found Jen and Kelly via text before the race.

Jen and Kelly were on the fence about which race they were doing- the 10K or the half marathon, even though they were both registered for the half.  Jen decided to do the half and Kelly decided to drop down to the 10K at the last minute (she ditched her chip so she wouldn't throw anything off), since she's had some hip flexor issues.  This ended up being awesome for me because Kelly ended up running the entire race with me, which really helped me.  In fact, the entire distance really felt like no big deal- it was just a leisurely run with Kelly.  We talked and kept each other going the whole time.  Around mile 3-4 I had a little bit of discomfort in my left leg (various places), but it wasn't enough for me to need to stop, I just kept my easy pace going.  Kelly motivated me up a couple hills near the end, and before we knew it we had the finish in sight and were crossing the line together.

My time was 1:02:16 (chip time), almost 7 minutes slower than my PR, but you know what, I was really happy with it considering the year I've had and being semi-injured last week.  Plus, I'm pretty sure that's the longest distance I've done since my marathon!  My friends will tell you that I was pretty giddy on my runner's high after, and it kept me smiling for hours.  This is why I run :)

The race was followed up with breakfast at Flying Biscuit. 

I went with the bacon and eggs breakfast with poached eggs, potatoes, turkey bacon, and of course the biscuit.  So delicious after my 6.2 miles.





After breakfast I headed to Trader Joe's to stock up on stuff for Folly Beach, then headed home for a while to pack.  This was interrupted by my friends forcing me encouraging me to accompany them to Menchie's for froyo.  I couldn't say no...



Cindi, Caitlin, Kelly, Sara, and I enjoyed heaping cups of the cold creamy stuff with countless candy toppings.  It's a wonder I even had room for dinner later!

Clyde and Cindi's daughter had fun examining each other.

It was great to see the girls.  With all the babies, moving, work, and busy stuff we all have going on, it's been harder to find time to get together lately.  All in all, a great race and great Saturday in Charlotte! 

More to come on my Folly Beach adventures...  :)



Things That Happened Easter Weekend

My Easter weekend began with a Friday night run when I got out of work.  I mentioned before that I'm right on track for my 10K next week, even though I've been moving around training days in my training plan to accomodate my schedule.  If anything I'm usually bumping up my mileage to more that I have to run, but just slightly.  I'll do 3.25 miles instead of 3, that sort of thing.  That's what I ran on Friday night.

Even better?  I ran slightly faster than a 10 minute mile on that run. 

One of my fastest so far in this round of training.  I felt great! 

Saturday, I met my friend Sarah in South Park because we had plans to find me a bridesmaid dress for her wedding.  We went to J.Crew.  Sarah has told us that we can select any dress we like in Organic Green Silk Taffeta.  She and I had both honed in on the Selma dress as the first option for me to try.

It looked great great on.  Even the sample size was perfect for me, so I didn't even have to wonder what size to order.  I tried two other ones on, just for kicks, but this one was the clear winner.  Done!

Sarah and I did a little more shopping and grabbed a quick lunch, before I headed home to hang out with Clyde for a bit before going out for the evening.  I went over to Kelly's house for Brad's birthday party. 

Me and the Birthday boy



Kelly had the party catered, and the food was an awesome spread of Southern fare.  I grabbed a plate with a bit of everything, a wing, brisket, potatoes swimming in creamy sauce, cole slaw, salad, a fried green tomato, and some pimento cheese on crackers.

I washed it down with an Allagash White.  Gotta support my New England breweries ;)

The food was great, but I enjoyed the company even more.

My friends crack me up...

Sarah and I, my friend that I went bridesmaid dress shopping with earlier.

As per usual, I called it a night fairly early and was home by about 11pm. 

 I later heard I missed some funny shenanigans late night, but oh well, I was snoozing with my pup at that point!

Which was good, because I had my long run of 5 miles planned for Sunday morning.  The problem with that was, I slept in, did dishes, cleaned, played around with ITunes, and generally did everything I could think of to procrastinate instead of running.

I had a bagel to fuel for my run.

I finally got out there a little before noon for my run.  Immediately I regretted that I didn't start sooner.  I could feel that it was already kind of hot out.  Five miles shouldn't feel that long to me since I'm a marathoner, but it did yesterday.  It was one of those runs where things just didn't feel right.  I felt hot, tight, and it was labored.  I did get the miles in though.  Back at home after the run, I took my shoes off and realized something was wrong with my left ankle.  It hadn't specifically bothered me on the run, but once I stopped running, I could tell it was messed up.  The jury is out on whether I'm going to be able to do my 10K this weekend.  Right now, it's hard to even walk normally.  Ugh....

Greg got home early afternoon on Sunday.  I greeted him with a kiss and an Easter basket.

I also made us a crustless quiche.  It was a beautiful day and we wanted to do something outside, but anything involving weight on my foot was out.  Solution?  Kayaking.  The best part?  We got to see Clyde in his new life preserver.

He was so friggin cute in that life jacket!

The problem with kayaking with Clyde is that he wants to be in which ever boat he's NOT in, and whines the entire time trying to get to the other boat.  We passed him back and forth a lot over the course of our paddling.

Silly dog!

Overall, it was an excellent Easter weekend.  I'll keep you guys posted on my ankle.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do, except rest it a lot this week in hopes that it'll hold up for Saturday's race.  Ack.

Starting From Zero

I just got back from a run.  I think the last run I did was about a month ago, and since I wasn't doing a lot of running before that (I tried running while I was pregnant a couple times and it just didn't feel very comfortable to me), it kind of felt like starting from zero.  I had low expectations and just figured I would get out there and see how I felt, since I'm still less than a week from my D&C surgery, and unfortunately, my recovery from this surgery has felt slower than last time.  I've been a little more tender and crampy.  Still functional, but I just don't want to do any damage by over doing it, you know?

My hope was to run at least a mile- I have to start somewhere.  Luckily I got in 1.53 miles.  It was slow and I felt like I slug, but I did it.  I just wanted to get started on training for the 10K I have my sights set on next month.

My plan for the Racefest 10K is that I don't really have a plan.  Well, I did plug in a Runner's World Smart Coach outline, but I will probably follow it pretty loosely, mainly just worrying about the weekend "long" runs.  I figure during the week I'll do two more runs like the plan calls for, and I can do more than two mid week runs if I feel like it.  I can also do more than two miles if I feel like it, I will just see how I feel and go with it.  I'm also not going to worry too much about pace, since I'm so far out from where I once was.  I will just run at whatever pace is comfortable.  At this point, I know I've been running long enough that I'm pretty confident if I loosely follow this plan, I'll be fine on race day to get in 6.2 miles. 

As for how I'm doing with the aftermath of miscarriage #2...  Well, it changes all the time.  Sometimes I can sort of feel "normal" or just kind of imagine it all never happened.  Daily life continues and for all intensive purposes, I'm just living my life like I usually do- working, hanging out with friends, cooking, playing with Clyde....  But inside there's that sadness, that frustration, and that scar that I'm carrying with me.  I'll be sitting watching TV and see something that sparks tears.  Today, while I was on that run, I saw a family I sort of know on the otherside of my neighborhood.  They have two kids, and I noticed the wife is pregnant with #3.  It's just hard...  Also, I'm in this weird place where I can relate to both pregnant, non-pregnant, and TTC people.  Like a pregnant friend will mention cravings, and I basically nod and understand what that feels like, but it's weird, because I say it in past tense, "Yeah, when I was pregnant, I craved carbs too."  It reminds me that I'm not anymore and they will likely go on to have a healthy baby and I won't (now anyway)...  Again, hard.

I don't think before the second miscarriage I let myself really entertain the thought that this might not happen for me.  I still believed that it would, and we just had been really unlucky that first time.  This time, I'm legitimately scared at what my future holds.  Not only are we starting over TTC this time, but who knows what other things we might be up against now that we're opening the can of worms that is testing for problems.  I just really don't know what our timeline or future even looks like anymore, and that's hard.  I'm not giving up by any means, and I still am hopeful, but I am scared and facing the possibility that this might not go how I've always imagined and this might take a lot longer than we ever thought it would.  It already has been that way.

I guess right now I'm feeling my way around figuring out a new "normal".  I used to kind of set deadlines in my head when I was TTC.  By my next birthday I'll be pregnant.  By the end of 2012 I'll be holding a baby.  By the time Greg turns 40 (next week), we'll be 10+ weeks pregnant.  I have to learn to let all that go.  We just have no clue right now how long this is going to take, and those milestones I want to reach are just...not happening. 

I feel beat down by this.  I'm going to keep fighting for what I want, but it's just tough.  I guess it's good that I have a little break from it right now while I recouperate and we try to get answers on what's going on.  But at the same time, I'm always aware of time moving forward and not moving forward with something I want so badly.  I guess we're starting from zero with this too.

  

Tweeting And Trotting

Happy belated Thanksgiving!  I'm back in Hilton Head to spend the weekend with my family.

I took a half day on Wednesday, headed home to pack up, and gobbled down this salad of spinach, goat cheese, pear, walnuts, and vanilla balsamic, before hitting the road for the 3+ hour drive to Hilton Head.

Traffic wasn't to terrible, and I arrived in time for dinner with my fam, which was a nice bean pasta soup my mom made.

And some easy cresent rolls on the side.

Oh and we got into the pumpkin cheesecake early.

We turned it fairly early because we had to be up early on Thanksgiving for my Turkey Trot!  After being indecisive about running and racing ALL YEAR long, I decided to go ahead and do this race, since I had a great time running it last year.  Last year I was already entrenched in marathon training and ran the 10K, but this year I opted for the 5K, deciding I wasn't quite ready for 6+ miles just yet.  3.1 sounded fine though.

I had the typical pre-race breakfast.

It was much colder this year, so I was kind of bundled up pre-race and cold in my shorts!

My parents were good sports for hanging out in the cold with me!

I think the cofee helped!  We amused ourselves by watching many people ready to run in costume.

We loved this guy in the full turkey suit!

I really had no plan for this race.  I know my running has been sporatic all year, and looking at my only other two 5K times, I estimated I'd fall somewhere in between 33 and 27 minutes- my other two finish times.  I guessed I'd finish in about 30 minutes...  I really didn't care.  I actually forgot my Garmin in my jacket, so I didn't even time myself.  Really, I was just out to have fun and get a 3 mile run in before consuming mass amounts of Thanksgiving food so I didn't put any pressure on myself to PR.

I underestimated myself.  I felt pretty good on the out and back course, and just ran as fast as I was comfortable with.  I ended up finishing with a gun time of 27:33, which is a 5K PR for me (my previous best is 27:48)!  I also love that this race gives medals!  Fun to add another one to my race bling :)

After some water and a small hunk of bagel, we snapped some quick pics with the blow-up turkey, and headed home for breakfast.

My mom whipped up a frittata with goat cheese, spinach, pepper, and mushrooms.  We had that and leftover crescent rolls with Nutella, and some fruit.

While eating we saw in the paper that Old Navy was open, so we headed over there to check it out after breakfast.  I got a pair of jeans and a pair of running crops for pretty cheap!

Mini-shopping trip done, we headed home to start the turkey/stuffing prep.  A little story behind my turkey, I won it from EarthFare (Huntersville) on Twitter!  It was a fresh, organic, veg fed fella.  Thank you EarthFare!

Clyde looked on with interest as my mom cleaned it.

Once the bird was prepped and in the oven, we decided to head out on a walk on the plantation trails to enjoy the beautiful weather.  It was in the low 60s, sunny, and generally gorgeous.

I love these bridges over the marsh to the island in the plantation, gorgeous...

About 3 miles covered, we headed back and actually changed into bathing suits to go to the pool for a dip!  The pool is heated, and it was a little chilly, but not too bad!

Mom and I finished making dinner after our dip.  The EarthFare turkey came out great!

We made turkey, stuffing, sweet potato, mashed potato, mac and cheese, green beans with almonds, and cranberry (from the can- love that stuff).

With more pumpkin cheesecake for dessert.

Thanksgiving is by far Clyde's favorite holiday.  He knows the word "turkey" because it's his favorite food.  He made out like a bandit.

A great day was had by all, even Greg, who was stuck in Houston and didn't make it home.  He was invited to a friend's house for some food and had a good time too.  We're planning on a mini Thanksgiving of our own next week.

Hope your Thanksgiving was as great as mine!  I'm thankful for all of you who read and support me, you guys rock!