Calculated Risks

The weather and conditions in Charlotte have been interesting.

• Monday it basically snowed all day long and everything was canceled/closed, but actually, the road conditions weren't too terrible.  My office was closed and I had the day off.
• Tuesday, the snow had stopped and over night it we had received a bunch of freezing rain.  This actually made the conditions worse, because it was still so cold out and any moisture/snow stuck to the ground was now ice.  This prompted more closings and delays, but more things were open Tuesday than Monday.  I had a two hour delay, and went in to work. 
• Today (Wednesday) we are basically in the same situation as yesterday: still cold, still icy.  It seemed to warm up enough to melt things a little more today.  More places also seem to be open today than the previous two days, thus progress.

Still, it didn't occur to me that we might actually have another 2 hour delay at work today like we did yesterday.  This idiot who didn't bother to check if work was still on or not faithful soldier got suited up and went into work, only to find out that we were again delayed and basically gave my job two hours of my life that I'll never get back.  Booooo!!  I even asked if I could leave early to give myself back the two hours, but my boss wouldn't go for it.

In other news, I did what is likely to be my last training run before the marathon.  I did 3 (slow) miles on my work treadmill last night.  It actually felt good, especially after the first mile when things seemed to loosen up.  I stretched after and headed home.  So far, if anything I've actually felt better after this run than worse, which I think is very encouraging.  I need that right now.  A lot.

Yesterday I talked to my marathon buddy Michelle for a while.  She told me she's actually worried about my mental state of mind going into this marathon.  I know everyone says that marathons are a very mental thing and it's a component I can't ignore that I need to really take seriously.  I admit, my spirit about this marathon has been damaged by this hip-flexor thing.  I feel like a marathon is a huge challenge when you are 100% physically okay and knowing that I'm going to this less than 100% makes it that much more intimidating.  I also hate the fact that I didn't do my last two long runs (12 and 8 miles).  While I did do a bunch of shorter runs, and it was taper anyway, it still makes me nervous that I missed two of my long runs and when I'm running it and searching for confidence, I won't have the knowledge that I did EVERY run I should have to prepare.  I also question what missing those runs may have done to my endurance.  It just...  bothers me.

What it really boils down to is that while I like trying new things and getting out there in the world, I am a calculated risk taker.  If I decide to take a risk- like running a marathon, I am not one of those people who signs up from day zero and says, "I am just going to start from nothing and get to 26.2 miles".  I am that person that waits til the absolute last minute I can to sign up and runs as close as I can to the actual distance (without going overboard) to see how I hold up so I can assess whether I think I can do it or not.  You may have noticed I didn't sign up for my marathon until after I'd already done a 19 mile run (and the cost was going up...I'm cheap!).  Basically if I'm going to take on something that scares me, I want to prepare myself as much as possible.  The injury has thrown a little bit of a wrench in my plans to be as prepared and confident as possible and have that confidence in knowing without much doubt I can do this. 

Last night I did a bunch of preparatory stuff for the marathon, and that seemed to help me perk up and get more excited.  I emailed my mom with some logistical questions since my parents are coming to cheer me on and scrape me off the ground take care of me after the race.  I also started thinking about what I'm going to wear and worked on editing and tweaking my Ipod playlist.  All of these things actually helped a lot in getting me excited rather than nervous for the race.  My spirit was much improved.

The best news is that I feel almost NO PAIN today.  I went in for my last appointment with Greenapple before the race today and got a little more A.R.T.http://www.activerelease.com/ on my leg and hip.  By the time I was done I was seriously grinning from ear to ear excited about the race.  I got back to work (I go during my lunch hour) and found Michelle to tell her how good my hip flexor is feeling and that I think I'm ready for this race!

Let's do this!!