Hesitation

Last night I got home, changed into my running clothes, laced up my Asics, stretched, put the IPod on, set the Garmin for a new run, and headed out the door.  I'd been looking forward to this run all day while I was cooped up in my office looking longingly outside at the perfect fall weather. 

I got about three houses down from mine and realized I did not feel like my normal running self. 
I think my pace was like a 12+ minute mile.  I'm slow, but not that slow.  

I turned around and headed home.  I decided I would take Clyde for a walk and see how I felt after. 
Maybe I just needed a warm up.

About 20 minutes later, I attempted the run again.  It was better this time.  I still felt heavy and slow, but it was easier than before and I decided to push through.  You know how I recently wrote that post about running and whether it sucks for me sometimes?  Well last night it sucked.  It's really humbling when you have a crappy short run and you have been regularly banging out longer distances without much of a problem.  It got me thinking about what I was really capable of.  If four miles is sometimes tough, how realistic is 26.2?

I know everyone has off runs, but still.  It worried me. 

I did 4.25 miles in 43:58

Mile 1-10:24

Mile 2- 10:14

Mile 3- 10:26

Mile 4- 10:27

.25- 2:25

Really, this run ended up being about normal pace wise for me, but it just felt labored and difficult.

I felt tired and sluggish the entire run.  I had contemplated possibly running 5 or 6 miles, but it was all I could do to get through 4+ miles last night.

This week has been a tiring one.  It didn't help that I got up at 4am the other day for work.  I feel like I'm kind of catching up from not being home all last weekend too, so that isn't helping either.  My house is messy, I need to clean.  My fridge/pantry are getting empty, I need to grocery shop.  I have other errands I need to do.  I feel like it's already a struggle to get it all done.  When I think about possibly training for a marathon, it's hard to wrap my head around how I would fit that into this already clogged equation?

Aside from my 10 miles on Monday, all I've run this week is 6 (.25) miles.  If I am going to train for a marathon, I'm really going to have to step up the weekly mileage.  It feels kind of overwhelming thinking about adding that much more running and putting in that much more time every night. 

In this teeter totter of thoughts on possibly running a full marathon, yesterday was a teeter towards not doing it.  But, last week I was definitely teetering more towards doing it.  I feel like I'm just going to have to keep running and training and see how things go in the next couple weeks before I can make a decision one way or the other.   

Anyhoo, for dinner I dug through the freezer and found a bagel.  I ended up having a pizza bagel for dinner.

That's spinach on top of mozzarella and tomato sauce.  As mentioned, I'm in desperate need of a trip to the grocery store and therefore have almost no fresh produce aside from old carrots, half a lemon, two apples, and half a bag of spinach my mom sent me home with last weekend.  I need to restock!

After dinner, I took a warm bubble bath in the jetted tub, which felt great on my legs.  Might have to do that more often!

I later had a coconut popsicle while huddled under a big blanket.  Mental note: it's not smart to eat a popsicle when you're already cold.  ;)

Sorry for the downer post.  It was just an off night and I know that I will have many more great runs.  I look forward to my next upbeat post telling you all that I KILLED my long run this weekend!  Til then, the marathon debate will continue in my head!